Adele's Second Entry

34 ACH

Well, since my nice little leather-bound journal exploded along with the rest of the PAS, I suppose I'll just keep these thoughts in my handheld.

So, I have a new townhome, a new twelve year old roommate, and a new outlook on life, I think. When I was standing just inside the Raptor that took us to safety right before the PAS expired, I looked out and saw Jesse standing in a sea of chaos. I don't know why it took such a tragedy to recognize it. Well, actually, I do. It's always been that way for me. I never really look for myself until it's almost too late.

It wasn't that difficult for me to lose everything I had on Caprica. Beyond Zeke, the few relationships I had were strained and shallow. Even with my parents. Especially with my parents. I miss them, and I'm sorry that my last words to them were in a letter (did they even receive it?), but they don't consume my every thought. It made me incredibly lonely, knowing that I hadn't established anything real on Caprica. I've spent my life pushing people away. What am I even saying, beyond Zeke? I didn't even let that cat sleep with me.

But seeing Jesse outside the Raptor, and then seeing Reed wheeled into sickbay with his stomach shot up, and having Rhea cry in my arms… gods, it couldn't be clearer. I'm supposed to let these people in. I doubt that I'm half as important to them as they are to me, and I still get flickers of that outsider feeling that was so strong when I first met them, but… it doesn't matter. They're there. They are tangible. I have to start making connections, or I will die alone.

Unless otherwise stated, the content of this page is licensed under Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike 3.0 License