Losses Big and Small
Losses Big and Small
Summary: Rue has a miscarriage.
Date: 84 ACH
Related Logs: None.

Private Room Genesis - Deck 13
84 ACH 23817 Souls

This is a private room set up with oxygen and power connections, prepared to house special recovery cases. The room itself is unremarkable, meant for patients to be wheeled in, locked into place and connected to monitoring and support systems. Guards at the door are optional, depending on orders, but the equipment here is normally connected to the monitoring stations in Sickbay.

Stomp stomp stomp. Boots, irregularly falling, precede a bloody hand gripping the doorframe of the Sickbay. A blonde head comes into view, Rue's, and she stumbles in, blood on her hands and on her pants. She barely makes it into the arms of a nurse before her legs give out and she starts to collapse, "Help…" Her voice is hoarse.

Right about then is where she passes out and misses the chaos of the sickbay after her entrance, being placed onto a gurney and wheeled into surgery. It's hours later that she's brought into the private recovery room. And it's several hours after that when she starts to come to.

Beep…beep…beep…that's the first sound she'll hear as she starts to wake up. A nurse nearby notices the movements and slips quietly to the door to flag down somebody going by in the hallway. She disappears, and a few moments later Zaharis is in the room, quietly. Dressed in his blue scrubs, he moves to the side of the CAG's bed and sets his hand on the rail. "Savannah?"

"Jesse… catch the plate number on that bus?" The attempt at humor by Rue is feeble. "You don't look like you have good news for me." Blue eyes on Zaharis, she grips each of her bed's railings with a hand.

Zaharis reaches next to him and pulls over the rolling stool, sitting down. He gives her a small smile at the terrible joke. "Sorry, couldn't get the MPs down fast enough to catch the bastard." Then a pause, and he speaks quietly and gently, "You've had a miscarriage, Savannah. I'm sorry."

"Really." The words convey the numbness that's leaking into Rue's expression. "I…" Brows coming together at the thoughts racing through her head, she closes her eyes and breaths deeply.

Zaharis nods slowly. He gives a few seconds before he talks again. "You did nothing wrong, and it's not something you could have prevented. It isn't your fault."

Rue's lips twist into a tense parody of a smile as she responds, "You can understand how I might be feelin' otherwise right about now? If I didn't do something wrong… then why was she taken from me? Why was her father taken? Or my pilots." Gripping the rails on the bed, she gives them a good slam with her hands before blowing out another deep breath. "The gods work in mysterious ways. That's what the Chaplains'll say, right?"

"I don't know about the Chaplains," Zaharis shakes his head. "I only know what I know, Savannah, and that's that sometimes things just happen. I also know that means frak all when it's happening to you, and that hearing statistics doesn't help. It may be a while before you're able to believe it, but it is true. It is not your fault."

A singular tear escapes the confines of Rue's right eye, followed by a companion from the left, tracing glistening lines down her cheeks. "'fraid I'm gonna have to respectfully disagree." She works her jaw tensely. "How long will I be in bed? I have a wing to run."

"We need to let your body take its course," Zaharis says, setting his hand atop the mattress by her arm. "Once you've stopped bleeding I'll be checking on you to make sure there aren't any complications, then you can get back to activity as soon as you feel able. I'm going to do everything I can to get you back up quickly and safely as possible. I'm going to notify your Captains but not of the reason why; that's confidential. Is there anyone outside the Air Wing that you'd like me to contact for you?"

"No. But I'd consider it a personal favor if you kept the shrinks and the collars away from me," Rue fires back, wiping her face with the back of her hand. Her chest heaves involuntarily as she suppresses a sob. "I need some time."

"Nobody's coming in here unless you want them to. I promise," Zaharis assures her. There's a box of tissues on the stand but he doesn't pull any off, not yet calling attention to the tears. He lets a pause go by. "Do you want me to stay for a little bit?"

"Yeah… til I doze off?" Rue asks. "I was having trouble sleepin' all this week. Kept headin' down to the Berthings. Nightmares." She lays a hand down on Zaharis' and squeezes.

Zaharis squeezes her hand back, shifting to settle more comfortably on the rolling stool. "Yeah, I know the feeling. Get used to being around people, makes it hard waking up to a quiet room. Do you remember what you dream about?"

"Flying." The answer is soft, like Rue doesn't want it escaping the confines of the room. She tries on an ironic smile and rolls her shoulders. That's about when she breaks down and starts openly sobbing.

Zaharis gives her hand another small squeeze, running his thumb along the back of her hand. It's a repetitive gesture that he does in silence, letting her cry without his trying to talk her out of it. After a little while he reaches over for the tissues on her nightstand, grabbing out three. "Here, Savannah. Nightmares are bad enough without snot all over your pillow." A small half-smile.

"Nnnngh." Rue takes the tissue, but doesn't comment otherwise, continuing her crying. Somewhere near the middle she starts to revel in it, a smile creeping into her expression, even as the tears keep coming.

Zaharis smiles a little more, letting it show teeth for a moment. "There's a smile." His chuckle is very muted. "You're going to be okay. Maybe not today, and maybe not tomorrow. But you're going to be okay."

The tissues are pressed to the woman's smallish nose and she blows, trumpeting until her nasal passages are clear. The tears aren't brushed away. Rue just says, "I'll be fine as soon as I get back into a Viper." The sobbing has trailed off, though the tears are still streaming down each cheek. "Hormones are a bitch."

"Ain't they just." Zaharis grabs two fresh tissues and offers them over, opening his hand to take her used ones. He's a doctor, patients' snot long ago ceased to bother him. "You might be feeling the mood swings and all that for a few days yet while your body balances itself. It shouldn't take long for you to feel like yourself again."

There's a nod from the woman as she exchanges her old snot rags for the new. "There is one person I'd like to let know… Tarik. He'll be worrying. Might already be, knowing him." Rue blows her nose again and dabs at her cheeks.

"Okay." Zaharis nods a little bit. "I'll send him notice soon as I hit my office. You want me to put him on the permitted list for visiting?"

"Yes. And Addison Nikos. But no psyches and no chaplains," Rue answers softly, clutching her tissues in her hand and turning her head to glance at the walls of the private room. "I'd consider it a real favor if you'd bring me a copy of the viper flight manual. Chief Taylor has extra."

"Sure." Zaharis smiles a little bit. "I'll call him myself. Why don't you close your eyes and try to rest, Savannah. It's what you need right now. I'm going to stay right here until you fall asleep."

"Thank you," Rue says, eyes on Zaharis. She tries on a smile, mostly fails and starts to scoot down in the bed. Putting her head on the pillow, she puffs out a breath and runs her non-snot-rag filled hand through her hair.

Zaharis rolls the stool just enough to toss her old tissues in the trash, then settles back at the side of her bed. He goes quiet to let her try and get some rest, and, true to word he doesn't move until her breathing has evened out. Then he lets go of her hand, slowly so she isn't woken up, and slips from the room.

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