Dear Emily: Letter 2

Letter 1: Glowing Corpse Mushrooms. Mentioned: Novella, Fotilas, Reed, and Rhea
Letter 2: A Damn High Fuss. Mentioned: Lily and Snatch
Letter 3: Transverse Hyperlight Implosion. Mentioned: Reed, Rhea, Novella, Snatch, Greje, and Eli.
Letter 4: Flowcharts, pilots, and music. Mentioned: Novella, Sloane, Micah, and Dynames.


Dear Emily,

Recruit Jonah Quill!

Every time I hear that, it sounds like a joke. Recruit him for what? For every mind-numbing, back-breaking, arms-aching, oh-god-why chore there is to be done aboard a Battlestar, apparently. And let me tell you, Emily, there are a lot of those on Genesis. I'm intimately acquainted with them. I try not to bitch about it to the rest of the Navy, because as far as the Navy is concerned, the word bitch as it applies to Jonah Quill is a noun, not a verb. Whining about my training is like correcting people when they call me Mister Quill instead of Doctor Quill — I'd find it cathartic, but no one wants to hear it and there's no way to say it without sounding like an asshole.

You, however, are dead, imbued with angelic qualities you lacked in life and which I've invented to assauge my need for a confessor. Thus, you are patient enough to hear me whine. In fact, you want to hear me whine! You always were a sweet girl.

I have:

  • Wondered what could have possibly gotten onto the floor of the head that is so sticky and so impervious to scrubbing
  • Decided I do not want to know
  • Washed down all of the tables in the mess hall
  • Washed down all of the tables in the mess hall a second time because it wasn't good enough the first time
  • And one more time after that
  • Done more exercise than ever before in my life, except for that time I tried to join a triathlon so I could dat Gods, those are some bad memories.
  • Never realized before now how many different ways in which pipes can be clogged
  • Gained a new appreciation for engine gunk
  • Tried and failed to understand the structure of military bureaucracy and hierarchy
  • Saluted the wrong people
  • Failed to salute the right people
  • Gotten lost aboard the Battlestar
  • Been forced by my training instructor to clean all the rooms to which I was late due to getting lost, ensuring that I now know where they are
  • Not slept very much

Interacting with other people in the Navy is like FTL travel, there's so many ways to go spectacularly wrong that getting it right is a welcome surprise every time. I have, however, made some friends in Engineering. Are you proud of me, Emily? You probably shouldn't be, since by friends I mean 'people I work with', and by 'people I work with' I mean 'people who tell me what to do'. But they seem like good sorts, and you know the drill.

Lieutenant Jig Lily Stephanos, Apparently An Engineer
Lieutenant JG
(As far as I can tell this is like Lieutenant Lite. All the Lieutenant flavor, half the calories.)
She's in charge of me. I think. Or something. I'm not sure. I get the impression that I'll be under her wing; sticking with that analogy I also get the impression that if I mess up the aerodynamics of said wing, she'll drop me from 10,000 feet. Here's hoping it works out, eh?
Invented Stories: Lieutenant JG Lily was separated at birth from Crewman Nigel. They have reunited years later aboard the Genesis, becoming the only people post-holocaust to find family rather than lose it.

Mopsus Doe Something Or Other
Enlisted PO3
(I have no idea what that means)
She wouldn't tell me where she's from, but I'm dying to know. A dialect like that sure as frack isn't from Virgon, I know that much. She goes by "Snatch," which is incredibly awkward because I was raised not to refer to women that way, and she'll never know how much I owe her for showing me some of the ropes around Engineering. I'm pretty sure I missed some crucial points because I had no idea what she was saying, though.
Invented Stories:
Once upon a time, a long time ago
There was a little girl named Mopsus Doe
Down in the country far from the city
Rather be smart than sit and look pretty
Along came a man, said you'd make a nice wife
She said frack this town, gotta get me a life
She knew how to work and that hammer don't miss
So she found herself a place on the Genesis
Now the Battlestar's home, nowhere else to go
For a little country girl named Mopsus Doe.

I'm sure none of that's true, that being the point of course of making things up about people. Pity, though, could be catchy. I also met the aforementioned Crewman Nigel and a misplaced Raptor ECO today, but I didn't speak with either long enough to decide what entertaining rubbish to make up about them. Doubtless, I will soon.

I have made, as Snatch would say, a damn high fuss about being a recruit, going through training, being at the bottom of everyone's food chain, et cetera. But the more I think about it, Emily, the more I don't want to leave this place. If what Novella says is true, they'll put me at Lieutenant. In charge of people. Responsible for their efficiency, their teamwork, their safety… I don't want that. Why the rank? Because of a piece of paper? What sense does that make? I know, Emily, I hear you saying it. If sense was what I wanted, joining the military was the wrong move. Isabelle always said I lacked ambition, and I suppose she was right. And yet… life may be more or less hell as a Recruit, but at least it's only my life I affect when I mess up, you know?

Unwisely yours,
Jonah

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