Salin's Memoir - II

70 ACH

After. Cylon. Holocaust.

What terrible ways we have to track time. We use a system that provides a constant reminder of what we've lost. Of what we'll never see again.

And again, I digress from the actual point of writing in this thing. You know, my father always said it was good to keep a journal with your thoughts .. and yet, I can't seem to reliably commit myself to writing in it. And as I sit here, looking at this book, I know exactly what I want to write, yet I can't seem to untangle the words from my brain, to let my hand record them. Considering the amount of writing and thinking I do in the course of a day .. this is either a really scary thought .. or .. I need to step back from my work a little more often.

There we go! Step back from work. I've been doing that a little more often. I don't find myself locked away in my office for all hours of the day and night, picking away at paperwork and cases. When my shift's over, I actually find myself wanting to leave. Wanting to relax. Wanting to spend my time with someone. You see, I've met someone. Someone special. She's managed to capture me, and I'm not entirely sure how she did it, but I think it was that smile. I'm not complaining though, for I wouldn't trade her for anything. She's young, intelligent and attractive. And in several ways, she reminds me a lot of her father. Not her real father. But, he's her 'father' none-the-less. He's a good man and he's looked after her, protected her and helped her along the way. They're both lucky to have each other, though I don't think either of them realizes it right now. But, they will soon enough. I imagine, one day, when things have settled down and we've all found a place to call home, that she'll follow in his footsteps. She'll command a ship of her own. And she'll be damned good at it.

As for her 'father'? We don't always see eye-to-eye, but that's the nature of my job. He does things that he believes are in the best interests of his crew. I do things by following the letter of the law. The two of them never go hand-in-hand and we've had our run-ins with each other on several occasions. But despite that, I still respect the man. He's a good leader. He's kept all of us safe throughout this ordeal, and for that, I am thankful. I'd like to get to know him a little better, learn who he really is. To see the man behind the mask. I don't think it'll happen though. He seldom takes that mask off, at least not when one of his officers are around. This is both good and bad. With no end in sight, he needs to find a way to relax. To let go of some of the stress and worry of his command.

Each time that I think he might be amiable to giving it a try, we end up in another battle. Last night was a prime example of that. Another run in with the toasters. This time, though, I wasn't locked away in my office. I happened to be standing in CIC, watching and learning, when we were attacked. And then I was a stuck. With him. In the heat of a battle. Talk about feeling utterly useless. Here I was, watching Ensign's and Lieutenant's run around 'tending to their duties, while I stood with my back pressed against a bulkhead. Thankfully, I didn't have to do that for the whole engagement. They found a use for me at the DRAIDS screen, monitoring some things and keeping him informed. Ended up having to answer a call for CIC as well. To say the least, it gave me a new perspective into what goes on up there. To what he goes through. To what she goes through. I've had the classes on Ship Operations. We all have, but it's not something I make use of on a regular basis. I'd like to, more often, if I can. Going to need to see if that's possible.

Any ways, that's enough for now. I feel the tug of work pulling at my mind again and if I don't stop, I'm going to end up writing a legal brief into my journal. And I think that somewhat defeats the purpose of trying to separate my work from my personal life.

~ S

PS: Dad .. how the frak did you do this -every day-? Gods.

PSS: Stupid thing. I close the frakkin thing and I suddenly have more to say. Isn't this going to look stupid to whoever tries to make sense of this.

Ammendment 1: <— Ugh. Sorry, that's the lawyer portion of my brain writting before I could stop it.

Annnywaaaays. There's someone else I need to mention. A Colonel Jameson Fotilas. I really wasn't sure of what I thought of him until just the other day. We -really- havn't seen eye to eye and we've wound up in several heated discussions. Never really gave the chance to get to know each other beyond flaring tempers and foaming mouths. That changed, though, when I met her. There was something unspoken between the two of the. Something that will remain unspoken. And he came to see me after he spoke with her. To 'pass' along his blessing, in a way. To let me know that he was there if I needed a hand. In that moment, the Colonel gained a massive amount of my respect. We spoke for a little bit and I must say, given the chance, I could come to call that man 'friend'.

PSSS: That's it. I'm done. Nothing more to read. Dad .. when I see you again, remind me to kick your ass. Thanks.

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