Regrets

Regret. It isn't something that anyone can afford. Especially a marine.

I have too many and I can't afford them since they are all too expensive. I close my eyes at night and I see their faces. I see every face. Some laugh. Some cry. Some mock. But, most of them curse me. I'm surrounded by people I don't know, that I don't have a kinship with except for survival. I feel like a camp follower now. I've traded sex for a pack of cigarettes.

I met a doctor today. He's been with this group since the Cylons destroyed our way of life. He had escaped from the lower valleys to hopefully find safety. He said he only found more bodies and more death. We had a long talk. He talked. I just listened. There is something about him I can't place a finger on though. He calls himself Simon.

I told him everything the next time we talked. I needed to tell someone, it was eating me up inside. He listened then and he put a hand on my shoulder and told me that War does things to people. I told him it happened before the War. He merely looked at me and smiled. It was creepy as hell.

I need to get out of here. I wonder if they would have really shot me and if it could be any more lonely.

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